I don’t think I’ve done anything 500 times, at least not that I want to admit out loud. Up to now. This is the entry that puts me at about 150,000 words. I don’t so much have a sense of accomplishment as I do astonishment.

I like to start, try, discover. Not so much do, strive, or maintain. In other words, I am just as surprised as anyone that I am still at it. Writing in the morning has become somewhat of a habit. It may be my only one in fact. I do lots of things, good and bad, just not with this much consistency.

I really do enjoy it. Each morning I face a blank page and ask myself what’s on my mind. Over the course of an hour or so I empty a small part of my brain onto the screen with the assumption someone else might find it, if not helpful, at least amusing.

I got a great note from a friend yesterday. It was a piece called “What it means to be a man”. It was a challenge, a high bar. Maybe too high. I felt I’d failed before I got to the end of the paragraph. The problem was the word ‘be’.

I am not trying to teach, admonish, guide, or lead. I have no more sense of what is right or true than anyone else, in fact I’m often searching for that myself. If I have any objective it’s to say out loud what I believe many of us are thinking. My thesis is we fear vulnerability and worry that we aren’t good enough, or should be more. My question is: Compared to what?

Over the years, what I have tried to suggest is that it’s not so much about being, as it is becoming.