An Examined Life

Today I am joining over 50 others in a ‘syncroblog’ on behalf of “bridging the gap”. My friend Wendy Vanderwal Gritter is working on building positive connections between the gay community and the church community.  This is yet another way to draw attention and create conversations. You can learn more at http://www.btgproject.blogspot.com.

Some of my best friends are gay.  No seriously, they are.  In the past I’ve been advised by well meaning Christians that, as a gay person’s friend, I should warn them of the certainty of their one way ticket to hell unless they ‘repent’ of their orientation.

These well meaning folks have scripture to back up their claim.  But then again, in my experience, there is scripture to back up most people’s claims.   We don’t have to look too far back in our own history and be shocked by what used to be normal.  The buying and selling of people as slaves or the fact that women didn’t have the right to vote or participate equally in the world were just two instances that were backed by biblical wisdom.

The notion of slavery or the subjugation of women seems repugnant now.  I wonder if our grandkids might say the same thing about the treatment of homosexuals?

Conservative Christians fear the idea of ‘cultural relevance’.  It’s a slippery slope to relativism.  But how culturally relevant is it really to have a bigger composite view of God – as a Creator who loves widely and openly and who’s arms are broad enough to accept all manner of people – even those who don’t fit our societal mold?

In the early ‘80’s I worked at a Christian Camp.  Over the years since I have discovered that at least half a dozen guys I worked with at the camp were, and are, gay.  The cultural relevance at the time was a universal abhorrence of the gay orientation, and therefore my friends felt a deep sense of fear of being themselves.  In the years since they have all found communities away from Christians where they can be authentic.  Most sadly one friend died of AIDS, ostracized by his church.

William Wilberforce fought with vehemence against the cultural norm of both the church and the broader society of the acceptance and promotion of slavery in his day.  Today he’s a hero.  Who will be the heroes from this era?

Compromise is the worst choice.  It speaks of letting go of ideals, even principles, in a move toward at best a much blander middle, at worst a morass of relativism.   At times I have held onto ideals with white knuckled fists – for fear that the slightest chink in the armour could spell moral or ethical disaster.

What are these ideals, these principles, these non-negotiables?

I find the longer I am around, the shorter the list.  I am much more at ease with holding positions and beliefs loosely.  I change my mind on stuff.   My lines in the sand are faint.

But there are lines nonetheless.  Some of what I hold fast to comes from what I learned growing up, some I gained from my faith, and some from what I have watched and admired in others.

I can, and often do, take myself out to the woodshed for not living up to my accumulated standards – weakness is like the backseat driver in my life. The tension is even greater when my principles and ideals bump up against other human beings.

Why do I feel it’s so important to hold on to these things? What, in fact, gives me any authority to subject them to anyone else other than myself?    The world does not necessarily set itself up in alignment with me.

And, you know, sometimes others know better than me.  Sometimes I have to replace my ideals with new ones, better ones that I am taught or modeled. It’s a risky business – figuring out when its change and not capitulation.

I guided in the mountains for a couple of summers.  We’d spend a lot of time route planning and scheduling each day. Out of the 14 trips I did, I am not sure there was a one where we stuck to the plan.  Once we ended up having to hike out in one day that took us 4 days to hike in. It wasn’t the ideal, but it was the best choice at the time.

Compromise is the worst choice for sure.  But sometimes, it’s better than any of the alternatives.