‘The cravings will come and go”, instructed the little how-to-quit smoking card I picked up off the ground. Easy for them to say. I don’t smoke but I know when I am in the midst of an urge, desire, or want the idea that it will subside seems impossible.

I’ve kicked coffee to the curb, and am trying to do the same with booze and sugar – but those two are proving to be a wee more persistent. But, beyond the physical, it’s the emotional stuff that I find toughest to distinguish forest from trees.

When I’m consumed – it’s hard to see the horizon. The emotion takes up residence and seems to have no interest in leaving. Not only that, it usually makes a mess of the place while it’s here.

Life can easily become more thermometer than thermostat.

The thing is, I have been on the other side, many, many times. The desire may not disappear, but it subsides enough to not cause any more trouble.   So, how come that knowledge doesn’t stick around for the next time?

I remember a boss telling me he wanted to hold his staff  ‘like this, and not like this’ – as he opened and closed his hand. I hear that in my head when I am in the midst, the grip causing my knuckles to go white. Prying back my fingers one by one and letting go feels counter-intuitive and is rarely easy – but once accomplished, has unsurprisingly proven far more right than wrong.

It is hard, and not more than a little embarrassing, to feel like I am still ‘growing up’ and learning to manage emotions rather than give in to them.

But hey, at least I’m not smoking.