Totally underestimated the withdrawal. A couple of days ago I stopped drinking coffee, not because there’s anything wrong with it, but because I wanted to pay attention. I thought changing up my routine, my ritual, would cause something to happen. It has. An incredible headache.
This has been a week of trying to get out of my head – less thinking, more feeling.
A couple of years ago I took ski lessons for the first time, I wanted to become a teacher. I’d been a skier for four decades, and considered myself an ‘expert’, At the end of the first class, the instructor told me, “I’m not going to lie, you’ve got a lot of work to do”.
I grew up around big emotion – from warm hugs to flying dishes. I figured I had the feeling thing down. I cry in movies, I laugh hard at a good joke, and one could even say I’m passionate. But, I’m not going to lie, I got a lot of work to do.
Rationality often wins over empathy, I mean, I’m no Spock, but then again, I’m no Capt. Kirk either.
Someone asked me when I feel most myself, most authentic. Without hesitation I responded – on the dance floor. I lose sight of the logic and my mind takes a far backseat to the heart.
So, how does one dance when there’s no music?
I have a friend in his sixties who starts every morning by putting on his favourite music and then lets it rip on his very own dance floor. Really…every morning, after doing his sun salutations first of course;)
caffeine is a drug. why do you think everyone is drinking coffee and smoking outside AA meetings. both are drugs and they dull feelings. perhaps what is happening for you is the parts of you the caffeine has been medicating are now surfacing. being free of as many medicators as possible allows one to be more present, to think less, to experience all the intricacies of ones life, which are great things. however it also means as you step into the front of a present life there are fewer buffers. it is a brave person who peels away their buffers. kudos to you for the exploration.
Good Morning Rory. I got online before doing my spiritual reading this morning and got hung up catching up on your posts.Spiritual reading done!
Love them and love you. xo
When the spin in the mind settles we hear music that enables us to dance with every situation like Gene Kelley swinging on a lamppost!
Captain Robt. Bly used to say: first thing in the morning, take down the musical instrument from the shelf…these days we can just flip on you tube. I start my day with music whenever I can, Reggae in the summer, Cello in the winter –
Dance your heart out! Once I took a Hula class in Hawaii with some 49er football players…those guys could
move their hips better than me…Rory, you’d like great in a hula skirt!
I wonder why people think this is about dancing, and I wonder why I don’t
J,
you’re right, don’t think it is about dancing, but dancing is a way in,,,another form of transcendence..
like whirling with the Dervishes, hop scotching over the strategic mind.