‘Lying is still lying even if it’s to yourself’, a friend once said. I can be quite convincing. I’m a sucker for my own bullshit.   I can be like two drunks at the bar trying to keep each other sober.

I’m not always giving myself the straight goods. I don’t trust my thoughts –they can be under the influence of everything from brain chemicals to ego. Often, looking back, I realize it’s my own garden path I’ve led myself down.

Then there’s that ‘core limiting belief’. The indelible thing that was imprinted from when I was a kid. It’s not true, but it’s there, and seems to have a super majority when it comes to me making choices.

Hindsight, like guilt and regret, is not all that helpful. I haven’t found I learn well from mistakes. What I need is a new conversation up front.

I want to develop my own voice of reason. One that might suggest “hang on here, let’s take another look at that”. If I’d had that around I’d have saved a ton of money, marriage anguish, poor parenting decisions, and very likely would not own those blue shoes that I thought looked so awesome in the store.

In other words, I could stand a good dose of self doubt. Before running headlong into the next potential disaster I’d like it to grab my cognitive arm and suggest I give my head a shake. While I have many around me who are more than willing to step in on my behalf, it’s really up to me to stand in my own breach.

At least one of the drunks needs to get off their stool and head for the door.